Question: What does Stand Fast Ministries, Calvary Chapel, Maranatha World Ministries, and the Promise Keepers all have in common? Answer: All are cults! That’s right, cults! There are many ways to decide whether a religious grouping is a cult. One way is to simply ask how they ordain their ministers. Most reputable religions require formal seminary and theological training in an accredited university. Cults ordain their ministers directly. Another way to figure out if you are looking down the gun barrel of a cult is to see how the cult views the role of women in society. Most cults view women as subservient to men. To determine how your cult views the role of women, have your cult leader take the “Lot Test.”
Lot, the nephew of Abraham, was an Old Testament character who lived in the city of Sodom with his wife and two daughters. The New Testament holds Lot in great esteem as evidenced by the passage in 2 Peter (2:6-8) where Lot is seen as a righteous man deserving his place in heaven. What makes Lot such a righteous man? God sends a couple of angels to visit Lot. When the lusty Sodomites hear about the angels, they gather in front of Lots house demanding Lot send out the angels. Instead, Lot offers his virgin daughters to be gang raped by the crowd. Hold on, it gets worse!
Lot and his family manage to escape from Sodom, but Lot’s wife, disobeying Lot’s orders, looks back on God’s destruction of Sodom. As punishment for her insolence, Lot’s wife is turned into a pillar of salt. Later, Lot and his two daughters hide out in a cave in the mountains above Zoar. One night, the older daughter decides to get Lot drunk so she can have sex with him because she wants to “...preserve seed of our father” (apparently she doesn't understand she already has half of Lot’s genes).The next night, the younger daughter does the same. Both daughters get pregnant , and Lot never knows he had sex with his daughters because he was drunk (Gen. 19:1-38). Lot is rewarded with a window seat in heaven. Why is this Bible story the basis of the Lot Test?” Because this entire Bible story is HORSE HOCKEY!
For centuries women all over the world have know that if Timothy gets a snoot full, little brother Timothy is not getting resurrected! Only traditional men living in a traditional society, with traditional family values, where women are seen as so much property, would find truth and value in the horror story of Lot. No daughter would sleep with her father, (ugh!), and no father in his right mind would sleep with his daughter, no matter how drunk he got! Which brings me to Jay Grant’s withered little column in the local newspaper two weeks ago.
Look into your black magic box and see if you can find the ancient Greek or Hebrew word for gigolo. I think the word is synonymous with holy man. If a woman has serial sex partners, she is a sinner and a whore. But if a man has serial sex partners, or sleeps with his daughters, according to your righteous Bible, he sits at the right hand side of God. Pull down your veil, Jay Grant, your hypocrisy is showing!
Friday, September 29, 2000
Friday, September 15, 2000
Religious Magic
Mr. Jay Grant’s regular column in the local newspaper (Lifting the Veil) is aptly named for Mr. Grant skillfully uses the veil to bring drama to his act. Like a magician Grant keeps a veil over his show until, presto, the veil is quickly removed revealing the trick to a wildly applauding and surprised audience. But, Mr. Grant, there is no such thing as magic, only smoke and mirrors, misdirection, ignorance, and slight of hand.
Mr. Grant reveals his misdirection and intellectual dishonesty by resorting to the old debating trick of the “straw man argument.” This trick, skillfully used by Mr. Grant, gives him wiggle room to duck difficult questions and, at the same time, places his opponent on the defensive. For example, Grant talks about issues never brought up such as Jesus as a door and Jesus as a shepherd, but ignores why the “absolute truth” of his Bible tells us the earth does not rotate or revolve, or why the Bible tells us that the cause of gross morphological characteristics is what the parents were looking at at the moment of conception. Grant never explains how a mountain can fill a spherical earth. When Jesus says drink from me because I am the waters of life, does that mean Jesus is a glass of water? DUH!
For his next trick, Mr. Grant, reaches up with his deeply sun burnt hand, twists his oily mustache, and drops the veil again. A drum roll begins and Grant says the magic words GOINA and KANAPH. Suddenly a flash of light, a boom from the bass drum, the veil is removed and the Bible no longer says the earth is flat! Even wilder applause from the three remaining members of the audience!
Mr. Grant, today only dusty scholars speak and interpret ancient Greek or ancient Hebrew as they think it was spoken 2500 years ago. Scholars attempt to speak and understand these dead languages according to modern reconstructions. These modern reconstructions are at best approximations and not certainties. How well would you fare in China 2000 years ago if you attempted today to learn ancient Chinese by only reading Confucius in the original? Would any Chinese understand you if you suddenly got into a time machine and found yourself in China 2000 years ago? Of course not. No one knows with any certainty what the magic words GOINA and KANAPH mean. Beside, why didn’t the Bible simply say “extreme distance” rather than four corners. Seems like a major stretch to me! Is everything in the Bible metaphor and simile? Who will tell us when the Bible is speaking in symbols and when it speaks plainly? Who will unravel the symbolism of the Bible? How can we tell if the spin on Biblical symbolism is correct? Will it be you, Jay Grant?
The goal of a good magician is to entertain. But Mr. Grant’s magic is not entertaining at all. There is a mean spirit to his tricks. The largest veil in Mr. Grant’s act is the veil that goes unnoticed: the stage curtain. Behind that curtain, where Mr. Grant does not want the audience to go, is where he keeps his Black Magic. In a dark corner behind the curtain Mr. Grant keeps hidden away in his steamer trunk the Black Magic of Homophobia, Anti-Semetism, and Know-Nothing ism.
Jay Grant tells us, “I applaud Mr. Enderle and Mr. Graney for having the courage to put themselves on the firing line....they... understand there’s a culture war going on to endorse the Lord....” It was the Falangist Pat Buchanan, that intellectual apologist for the Inquisition, who coined the phrase “culture war.” Does Jay Grant criticize Mr. Graneys’s anti-Semitism? No! Does Jay Grant oppose the homophobia and just plain ignorance of Anahita Marquetant (my list of statesmen, scholars, scientists, and philosophers illustrated it was possible to believe in God(s) without being a Christian, a subtlety that totally escaped A. Marquetant). No! Does Jay Grant endorse the ramblings of Mr. Enderle, a man who has run out of ideas and now repeatedly quotes himself from his previous letters. A man who would rather preach than think. No! Why? Because Jay Grant uses his Black Magic to fan the flames of community hatred, intolerance, and ignorance. Out of hatred, intolerance, and ignorance comes fear. In a flash of light and a puff of smoke Jay Grant appears to the trembling crowd, black cape swirling about scattering harsh light. Fleetingly, a supple crimson pike appears and disappears. Grant, offering protection and revelation, loudly announces “You must believe in me first, for it is only then I will take you to Jesus!’ What sense can a community like Laguna Beach make of the snake-oil salesmen carrying a Bible in one hand and lynch rope in the other preaching from a pulpit of sun bleached bones?
Two last points. You are right, Jay Grant, the Bible is the best selling book in history. A book that no one reads, practices, or understands (thank God!). Second, you criticize me in your withered little column for writing lengthy “diatribes” in the Coastline (and indirectly criticize the Coastline for giving me half a page) but ignore the lengthy hate filled diatribes of your apostles, Graney, Enderle, and Marguetant. What can we make of this obvious hypocrisy. Could it be, Jay Grant, you are suffering from a deep seated case of Column Envy?
Mr. Grant reveals his misdirection and intellectual dishonesty by resorting to the old debating trick of the “straw man argument.” This trick, skillfully used by Mr. Grant, gives him wiggle room to duck difficult questions and, at the same time, places his opponent on the defensive. For example, Grant talks about issues never brought up such as Jesus as a door and Jesus as a shepherd, but ignores why the “absolute truth” of his Bible tells us the earth does not rotate or revolve, or why the Bible tells us that the cause of gross morphological characteristics is what the parents were looking at at the moment of conception. Grant never explains how a mountain can fill a spherical earth. When Jesus says drink from me because I am the waters of life, does that mean Jesus is a glass of water? DUH!
For his next trick, Mr. Grant, reaches up with his deeply sun burnt hand, twists his oily mustache, and drops the veil again. A drum roll begins and Grant says the magic words GOINA and KANAPH. Suddenly a flash of light, a boom from the bass drum, the veil is removed and the Bible no longer says the earth is flat! Even wilder applause from the three remaining members of the audience!
Mr. Grant, today only dusty scholars speak and interpret ancient Greek or ancient Hebrew as they think it was spoken 2500 years ago. Scholars attempt to speak and understand these dead languages according to modern reconstructions. These modern reconstructions are at best approximations and not certainties. How well would you fare in China 2000 years ago if you attempted today to learn ancient Chinese by only reading Confucius in the original? Would any Chinese understand you if you suddenly got into a time machine and found yourself in China 2000 years ago? Of course not. No one knows with any certainty what the magic words GOINA and KANAPH mean. Beside, why didn’t the Bible simply say “extreme distance” rather than four corners. Seems like a major stretch to me! Is everything in the Bible metaphor and simile? Who will tell us when the Bible is speaking in symbols and when it speaks plainly? Who will unravel the symbolism of the Bible? How can we tell if the spin on Biblical symbolism is correct? Will it be you, Jay Grant?
The goal of a good magician is to entertain. But Mr. Grant’s magic is not entertaining at all. There is a mean spirit to his tricks. The largest veil in Mr. Grant’s act is the veil that goes unnoticed: the stage curtain. Behind that curtain, where Mr. Grant does not want the audience to go, is where he keeps his Black Magic. In a dark corner behind the curtain Mr. Grant keeps hidden away in his steamer trunk the Black Magic of Homophobia, Anti-Semetism, and Know-Nothing ism.
Jay Grant tells us, “I applaud Mr. Enderle and Mr. Graney for having the courage to put themselves on the firing line....they... understand there’s a culture war going on to endorse the Lord....” It was the Falangist Pat Buchanan, that intellectual apologist for the Inquisition, who coined the phrase “culture war.” Does Jay Grant criticize Mr. Graneys’s anti-Semitism? No! Does Jay Grant oppose the homophobia and just plain ignorance of Anahita Marquetant (my list of statesmen, scholars, scientists, and philosophers illustrated it was possible to believe in God(s) without being a Christian, a subtlety that totally escaped A. Marquetant). No! Does Jay Grant endorse the ramblings of Mr. Enderle, a man who has run out of ideas and now repeatedly quotes himself from his previous letters. A man who would rather preach than think. No! Why? Because Jay Grant uses his Black Magic to fan the flames of community hatred, intolerance, and ignorance. Out of hatred, intolerance, and ignorance comes fear. In a flash of light and a puff of smoke Jay Grant appears to the trembling crowd, black cape swirling about scattering harsh light. Fleetingly, a supple crimson pike appears and disappears. Grant, offering protection and revelation, loudly announces “You must believe in me first, for it is only then I will take you to Jesus!’ What sense can a community like Laguna Beach make of the snake-oil salesmen carrying a Bible in one hand and lynch rope in the other preaching from a pulpit of sun bleached bones?
Two last points. You are right, Jay Grant, the Bible is the best selling book in history. A book that no one reads, practices, or understands (thank God!). Second, you criticize me in your withered little column for writing lengthy “diatribes” in the Coastline (and indirectly criticize the Coastline for giving me half a page) but ignore the lengthy hate filled diatribes of your apostles, Graney, Enderle, and Marguetant. What can we make of this obvious hypocrisy. Could it be, Jay Grant, you are suffering from a deep seated case of Column Envy?
Friday, September 1, 2000
Biblical Literalist
More than 2500 years ago in ancient Greece Aristotle invented three laws for thinking clearly. Aristotle termed these laws “Logic.” Aristotle invented logic because he wanted to open a shorter pathway to discovering the “truth”. One of these laws is commonly known as the Law of the Excluded Middle. The Law of the Excluded Middle says if two statements (statement “A” and statement “B”) contradict each other then either “A” is correct or “B” is correct. Logic requires that both “A” and “B” cannot be correct. But there is a third possibility: both statement “A” and statement “B” can be incorrect!
Lets put Aristotle’s Law of the Excluded Middle to the test. Before 1492 many educated people argued and debated that the earth was flat. The debate sizzled over whether the earth was flat like a pizza box (to use a modern analogy) with four corners or was the earth flat and round like a pizza pie. Did the earth have four corners or was the earth round? The argument raged for centuries until Columbus proved that the earth was neither square and flat nor round and flat but rather the earth was a sphere. Both statements, “A” and “B,” were incorrect.
What does the Bible say about the shape of the earth? According to Is.11:12, “And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth.”
In the Bible, according to Dan.2:35, “Then was the iron, the clay, the brass, the silver, and the gold, broken to pieces together, and became like the chaff of the summer threshing floors; and the wind carried them away, that no place was found for them: and the stone that smote the image became a great mountain, and filled the whole earth. This could only be possible on a flat, disc-shaped earth and not on a spherical earth because “a great mountain” that fills a spherical earth will simply increase the overall diameter of the earth with no noticeable change in topography.
The Book of Daniel continues with (Dan 4:11) : “The tree grew, and was strong, and the height thereof reached unto heaven, and the sight thereof to the end of all the earth. Only on a flat earth would this be possible since you cannot see over the horizon of a round earth.
In Mt.4:5-8, “the devil taketh him (Jesus) up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them.” In Lk.4:5 the story is repeated: “and the devil, taking him (Jesus) up into an high mountain, shewed unto him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time.” It seems Jesus, 2000 years ago, surveyed before him a flat earth!
Finally, in the book of Revelation (7:1), the Bible tells us: “And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that the wind should not blow on the earth, nor on the sea, nor on any tree.”
Mr. Enderle, above I offer more evidence, straight from the horses mouth, showing why the Bible is not the bastion of all encompassing truth. On the contrary, the Bible is replete with errors, contradictions, and false logic. You tell us the Bible is not a scientific journal, but you will use the Bible to tell our teachers how to teach biology, astronomy and cosmology. You tell us the truth does not have to make sense because “...God is far beyond anything we can imagine or understand.” But in the next paragraph you tell us that Jesus is God’s gift to mankind. Unless you have God like understanding, how do you know? You could not possible get it from the Bible because it is full of errors, contradictions, and false logic. So, how do you know, Mr. Enderle?
With finger wagging, you say every doctor, lawyer, businessman, scientist, professor, judge, and philosopher who studied the Bible came away “...one hundred percent...Christians”. Does your list include Aristotle, Plato, Cicero, Benedict Spinoza Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Werner Heisenberg, Max Planck, Isaac Asimov, Richard Feynman and Stephen Hawking? None of these folks were/are Christians but all of them in one form or another studied the holy books some of which the Council of Nicene in 325 proclaimed to be the Bible. Does your list include the tens of thousands of philosophers and clergymen who speak for the 5 billion people on earth (80%) who are not Christians?
You arrogantly state, Mr. Enderle, “I didn’t see the need to belittle (me) about the... various verses because I made the same kinds of errors....’ I submit, Mr. Enderle, you will not explain the verses because as a True Believer you are not capable of explaining their literal meaning without being forced to put a spin on what the verses are saying literally. In other words, you will have to interpret the Bible. Interpretation, as you well know, is dangerous to your frame of reference because interpretation leads inexorably to relativism. True Believers (including you Mr. Graney), because they are absolutist , when faced with any evidence which contradicts their comfortable faith based prejudices withdraw into complete obscurantism. One cannot judge a person by what that person thinks of himself and one cannot judge the Bible by what the True Believers say it says!
Any literal interpretation of the Bible requires a rejection of logic, reason and three million years of constantly refined human observations of nature. Biblical literalist like Mr. Enderle and his pal Mr. Graney demand that every word written in the Bible is the “Truth” requiring, as human beings, the suspension of logic and thought. They tell us we must turn our backs on our capacity to reason and explain, to use our large brains to understand our world, as it really is, and not according to the preconceptions of ancient superstitious observers. It is our ability to think that constitutes our soul and gives us heart; it is reason that elevates us. Instead, at the dawn of the 21st century, the Biblical literalist, Mr. Enderle and his pal Mr. Graney, want us to transform ourselves into their image of the perfect man: emotional, irrational, and unthinking living organisms reacting to their environment according to a cluster of genetically programmed and unalterable instincts like termites in an termite colony . The Biblical literalist want us to be governed by faith and faith alone. If you simply believe, they tell us, you need never think again. Personally, I would rather celebrate life with the heart and soul of human being instead of reacting to life with the genetic programming of a termite.
Lets put Aristotle’s Law of the Excluded Middle to the test. Before 1492 many educated people argued and debated that the earth was flat. The debate sizzled over whether the earth was flat like a pizza box (to use a modern analogy) with four corners or was the earth flat and round like a pizza pie. Did the earth have four corners or was the earth round? The argument raged for centuries until Columbus proved that the earth was neither square and flat nor round and flat but rather the earth was a sphere. Both statements, “A” and “B,” were incorrect.
What does the Bible say about the shape of the earth? According to Is.11:12, “And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth.”
In the Bible, according to Dan.2:35, “Then was the iron, the clay, the brass, the silver, and the gold, broken to pieces together, and became like the chaff of the summer threshing floors; and the wind carried them away, that no place was found for them: and the stone that smote the image became a great mountain, and filled the whole earth. This could only be possible on a flat, disc-shaped earth and not on a spherical earth because “a great mountain” that fills a spherical earth will simply increase the overall diameter of the earth with no noticeable change in topography.
The Book of Daniel continues with (Dan 4:11) : “The tree grew, and was strong, and the height thereof reached unto heaven, and the sight thereof to the end of all the earth. Only on a flat earth would this be possible since you cannot see over the horizon of a round earth.
In Mt.4:5-8, “the devil taketh him (Jesus) up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them.” In Lk.4:5 the story is repeated: “and the devil, taking him (Jesus) up into an high mountain, shewed unto him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time.” It seems Jesus, 2000 years ago, surveyed before him a flat earth!
Finally, in the book of Revelation (7:1), the Bible tells us: “And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that the wind should not blow on the earth, nor on the sea, nor on any tree.”
Mr. Enderle, above I offer more evidence, straight from the horses mouth, showing why the Bible is not the bastion of all encompassing truth. On the contrary, the Bible is replete with errors, contradictions, and false logic. You tell us the Bible is not a scientific journal, but you will use the Bible to tell our teachers how to teach biology, astronomy and cosmology. You tell us the truth does not have to make sense because “...God is far beyond anything we can imagine or understand.” But in the next paragraph you tell us that Jesus is God’s gift to mankind. Unless you have God like understanding, how do you know? You could not possible get it from the Bible because it is full of errors, contradictions, and false logic. So, how do you know, Mr. Enderle?
With finger wagging, you say every doctor, lawyer, businessman, scientist, professor, judge, and philosopher who studied the Bible came away “...one hundred percent...Christians”. Does your list include Aristotle, Plato, Cicero, Benedict Spinoza Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Werner Heisenberg, Max Planck, Isaac Asimov, Richard Feynman and Stephen Hawking? None of these folks were/are Christians but all of them in one form or another studied the holy books some of which the Council of Nicene in 325 proclaimed to be the Bible. Does your list include the tens of thousands of philosophers and clergymen who speak for the 5 billion people on earth (80%) who are not Christians?
You arrogantly state, Mr. Enderle, “I didn’t see the need to belittle (me) about the... various verses because I made the same kinds of errors....’ I submit, Mr. Enderle, you will not explain the verses because as a True Believer you are not capable of explaining their literal meaning without being forced to put a spin on what the verses are saying literally. In other words, you will have to interpret the Bible. Interpretation, as you well know, is dangerous to your frame of reference because interpretation leads inexorably to relativism. True Believers (including you Mr. Graney), because they are absolutist , when faced with any evidence which contradicts their comfortable faith based prejudices withdraw into complete obscurantism. One cannot judge a person by what that person thinks of himself and one cannot judge the Bible by what the True Believers say it says!
Any literal interpretation of the Bible requires a rejection of logic, reason and three million years of constantly refined human observations of nature. Biblical literalist like Mr. Enderle and his pal Mr. Graney demand that every word written in the Bible is the “Truth” requiring, as human beings, the suspension of logic and thought. They tell us we must turn our backs on our capacity to reason and explain, to use our large brains to understand our world, as it really is, and not according to the preconceptions of ancient superstitious observers. It is our ability to think that constitutes our soul and gives us heart; it is reason that elevates us. Instead, at the dawn of the 21st century, the Biblical literalist, Mr. Enderle and his pal Mr. Graney, want us to transform ourselves into their image of the perfect man: emotional, irrational, and unthinking living organisms reacting to their environment according to a cluster of genetically programmed and unalterable instincts like termites in an termite colony . The Biblical literalist want us to be governed by faith and faith alone. If you simply believe, they tell us, you need never think again. Personally, I would rather celebrate life with the heart and soul of human being instead of reacting to life with the genetic programming of a termite.
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